Just between us . . .

I will preface this with an admission of envy. I know without a doubt that I AM wrong. I am well aware that what I am thinking is backwards and should not done. Sometimes I use my private journaling and blog writing to allow my thoughts to spin around, hoping to clear my head. I am aware that some things should be thought and not spoken (written). I am an outspoken person, and many times I need to remain quiet. As I have said before, an empty can rattles the most. That being said, I must ask something that is just between us.

About four years ago, when I purchased the bike that I have now, I did not feel good enough for having such a bike because of my skill level. For many of you that do not know, I am currently riding a Cervélo VWD S5 with Shimano Di2, rolling on Zipp 404s for crits and flat stuff and will switch to Zipp 202s for when a race is more uphill. To explain my thought process, when I first got the bike, I believed that my being on that bike caused me to claim certain skills that I did not possess at the time. Having the bike caused me to work extremely hard to be worthy of the bike. I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I am being honest . . . which I know can open myself up to criticism. I almost saw my having that kind of bike, as many of you know from one of my previous blogs, as wearing a current UCI team kit. So without further ado, I will tell you what is rolling around in my head.

It is always this time of year when there are many people who give cycling a try for the first time. Yes, it is exciting and I am glad to see it. Walking into a cafe near the cycling mecca of our city, I spot a rather plump dude chomping on a huge sub-sandwich and a giant bag of chips and sucking on a soft drink that a small child could take a bath in. Okay, so what is the problem, right? Well, this weekend warrior has a brand new $12,000 bike leaned against the table where he is seated. Honestly . . . it is a bike that I could only dream about. Yes, I felt a nibble from the green-eyed monster. I admit it. If this guy wanted to light his cigarette with a one hundred dollar bill, it should NOT concern me. It is his money, and he should be able to do what he wants with it. If he wants to buy a Colnago with Campagnolo Super Record EPS and an Envy wheel set to putt around the bike trails at 12mph for 6 miles and post on Strava with three pics of the bike, what has that to do with me? There must be some other reason that this bothers me more than just jealousy. I have a nice bike. I am also aware that I am setting myself up for comments that might not be so nice to read, but there has to be someone out there who has felt the same way. If riding 12mph in a Team Sky kit on that kind of machine is this dude’s thing, why not just buy a Townie and have at it? Maybe get a bell and a cup holder too. Wait! As I am writing this, I just thought of something: Maybe it is the poser thing that bothers me, like the plastic surgeon who dons leathers with a Born to Raise Hell patch on the back of his jacket and cruises around on Sunday afternoon, when the deacons’ meeting is over. Okay, now I am getting somewhere.

Live and let live . . . yes, I know. I am not the protector of our sport. I have NO right to judge anyone. I should let things go more easily. I have many, many flaws and this is just one of them. Some people do not have to start with an entry level bike like I had to do. I just hate to see a stallion bike like that not being ridden like it was meant to be ridden, like an elderly woman behind the wheel of a Ferrari 812. Was it built to be driven once a week to buy groceries at the market?

So . . . there it is. Blood is in the water. Let the attacks begin.

14 thoughts on “Just between us . . .

  1. Some people have more money than sense! 🙂

    Although, he’s got a little bit of sense because he’s giving cycling a try, and of all the sports he could try – it is the best one!!

    And, a little bit of credit has to be given to him because he’s not sat on the couch.

  2. Well, to be honest, I have felt the same. . . it’s the poser thing that bothers me, too. But if his spending that kind of wad on a bike at a local bike shop puts money into the LBS and allows them to do more than they could have before, more power to everyone. It’s okay to be a little green, but know that HE is WAY more green with envy of the ability that you have worked really really hard for–and he is not there yet. I would try to see if I could befriend him and ask what his goals are, then help him earn the bike, just like you (and I, maybe not me yet) have.

    Hang in there. But my best advice is to embrace and face that green monster and overwhelm it with kindness. Not an easy thing to do–but it’s much harder to judge harshly when you know the person . . . am I right?

    Let us know what happens!

    1. First of all Sandra thank you for your thoughtful comment. Also I want to thank you for your honesty and great advice. I will do as you said and let you know what happens 🙂

      1. You are so welcome. Sometimes I still feel like a pretender–but I am earning my bike every day (or bikes!). Thank you for your honesty and willingness to share a frustration (?) that many of us have experienced–but are unwilling to share.

      2. I basically got it from your post–just changed the words a bit (worthy of). :-). You are the “brilliantologist”!

  3. I feel your pain and angst, broski. Of course, my bike isn’t anything to sniff at either, so I just rest my hat on that.

    Oh, and I also ALWAYS remember this: I have no idea what he had to give up to have that bike, and whatever it is, I’d rather not find out because my life frickin’ rocks and I’m not willing to change a thing.

    Don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides. 😉

  4. My dad was/is one of those and when he was deciding what bike to buy I strongly advised him against getting a carbon all the bells and whistles one. But the point he made to me was that he was much more likely to go out on it and enjoy riding it if it was the best he could afford and therefore much more likely to get better and fitter. I am all in favour of him getting fitter so had to shut my mouth!n

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s