Let Me Add a Few More, Walmart

Walmart to bring back customers

After reading this article I could open WordPress fast enough. The fact that anyone of any importance at Walmart will read my blog is extremely rare, but I must throw out seven more ways to earn back customers to make it an even ten:

  1. For the love of all things holy, open up more than two checkout lanes! There are more than 743 checkout lanes in the average Walmart. Why?
  2. At least once a year, re-stock the shelves! What good is it to have the “lowest” prices when you’re always out of everything?!
  3. Get the chubs off of the motorized shopping carts! Just because a person smoked for 30 years and can’t lay off of the pizza does not mean he can take up a whole isle in the store!
  4. When building a new store, have the square footage of the store cover less than 233 acres. I don’t want to run in to your store to grab dog food and have to carry a water bottle with me because remembering to get toilet paper is a 5k run.
  5. Fire people with attitudes.
  6. You don’t have to be in every business. Now, you are a credit card, hair stylist, cell phone, automotive, and health care insurance provider! What is next? A hospital? “We beat the competitor’s lowest price on hernia surgery.”
  7. Restructure where you place your shopping cart corrals in the parking lot. Why is there a buggy holder placed in a position that takes away four parking spaces?

Can I get a witness?




9 thoughts on “Let Me Add a Few More, Walmart

  1. They should also reconsider healthcare for their employees so we don’t have to pay for it. It’s not really a low price if their employees are on food stamps and public health.

  2. Brother I worked for Walmart before recovery. You know, when I was a freaking idiot. Was asked to quit because I called the manager’s girlfriend a sexist b*tch. You should have seen the look on her face, absolutely priceless.

      1. Funny thing is, and think about this, how many people in line pay with some form of government assistance 80%? it’s close to 90% in where I live (based solely on my own personal observation of course)… Walmart is the single largest government funded company in America.


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