Just Tagging Bully to Anything Only Helps the Bully

 

imagesAs a true victim of bullying when I was a child, I can understand how hard it is to face the day. The physical and mental strain of the day-to-day shenanigans take a huge toll on a child. I am not writing to make light of a difficult situation, but there is a growing trend that needs to stop. It’s already getting to a ridiculous point.

We have seen, as of late, that the tag of “bullying” has made it to the locker room of the NFL. It has become a catch phrase for anything to do with one person having any kind of riff with another person and one of the two feeling nervous about the other or intimidated. In education, it has caught on with parents and guardians in the fact that any inconvenience that their child might experience at school is bullying. There is an ENORMOUS difference between bullying and kids picking and aggravating each other. Throwing a blanket of bullying on every case in the school and acting tough on bullying actually diminishes the idea of  real bullying.

True bullying is hard to detect. As a child I would be asked by various jerks at school to “loan” them a dollar or if they could “borrow” my football. In every case I knew that it would not be returned. Deep seated hatred begins to build inside of a child, but there is VERY little that he can do about the problem. Bullying is subtle. In most cases, it is not depicted correctly in the movies, television, or the brochures the school counselor has. The bully draws the other person in with friendly gestures and a chance to be a friend (as long as there is something to be gained), but often slams the person with requests that need to be met in order to still have a good working relationship. Yes, it is physical some times. Most of the time, it is a mental game. And I have never been personally told to give up my lunch money or else. That would be stupid on the bully’s part. It’s is too easy to report.

So what does a person do? A bully cannot be handled by someone else telling the bully not to bully. YOU have to settle the matter. There are too many blended and varied levels of cases to give a straight solution that fits every situation. A bully must be confronted. I eventually got tired of it. I began fighting . . . which is another taboo word, I know. Every situation is different, but that is what my situation demanded. Most bullies would rather have a softer target and will move on. Whether it is a grown adult that is in a workplace environment or a middle school playground or a large country moving into another country and holding an “election,” bullying must be confronted with no doubt where either party stands.

 

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