With all of the advancements in women’s rights and the progression of women in the world view, why does it appear that our young women to follow have absolutely no respect for themselves? Vulgar, crude, disrespectful, and just down right whorish are a few ways to describe the majority of what I see as a teacher. When I spotted a few of my former students on this Foxnews report, I physically got sick.
Wait. Before any comments about our young men, I will say that they are in the same boat. I taught my son how to treat his female friends and companions with respect, to honor them and to be a gentleman at all times. The massive majority of young men today have no direction and will GLADLY accept the “gifts” handed by young girls for a six pack of beer or some weed. My son, who is now 22 years old, talks about the very low selection of strong, intelligent, self-reliant, and pretty young ladies from which he would even consider asking to go on a single date. The pool is shrinking and shrinking fast.
This trend is not 100%. There are many young ladies who treasure themselves and have no need to strip down at a beach, guzzle alcohol, and “take on” five guys at one time. There are young ladies out there who treasure their talents and intellect and have no need to kill as many brain cells as possible in a single night. There are young ladies who are devoted to a dream of being self sufficient and have no need to crave the attention of a crowd, doing whatever is necessary to get a small splash of gratification. When was the loss of the majority of our children?
There are studies that direct our attention to certain events in our history, blaming this or that for the “lost” generation. Internet searches will provide hundreds of theses studies by people who study data and quantify a single blip on the radar. Allow me to give you an opinion, solely based on my experience as a parent and an educator. I am not suggesting that all of the studies are wrong. They have their place in research, but the view from the trenches is very different. Here is a quick list of why our society has headed down a road from which we may never find our way back.
- Parents as friends: the idea that a parent is a buddy is one of the biggest mistakes in parenting. Buddies have a hard time directing and making the hard choice for another buddy. Children are “offended” when their buddy suddenly says no to something. Buddies do not punish buddies for rule violations.
- Grandparents as parents: it was never meant to be. A grandparent has served their time on the front lines. They should be in the role of loving and spoiling and bragging on their grandchildren, not setting curfews and guidelines and attempting to enforce rule violations with some kind of punishment.
- Self centered parents: as our world view turns more and more inward, the parent is more and more concerned with their life and absolutely no investment is made in their children. Keeping the children occupied so that the parent can “enjoy life” is the name of the game.
- Electronic babysitting: although I am not completely against game systems and cell phones, there is a massive amount of time devoted each day by millions of children to electronic media. Parents sitting at a restaurant, while Jr. plays on his iPad is the norm more than the exception. Parents send their children to their rooms? Sure! Go right ahead, Pops! Each child’s room is a miniature Disney World.
. . . and for the faint at heart, avert your eyes from the last one, and if your child is acting like an idiot, you might want to apply the last one:
5. No real punishment: with the world demanding “time outs” and a less hands-on approach to rearing children, the punishment for out of control children is repeating yourself a hundred times and counseling the child on the future consequences of bad behavior. It may sound barbaric, but I was not parented that way nor were my own children. Pain got my attention . . . quickly. I knew, as a child, exactly where my boundries were and where the line was. Abuse is NOT the answer. I never inflicted punishment of any kind while I was angry. My children understood the reason for the action and my love for them in steering them the correct way. Guess what? Both of my children are phenomenal. Both of them attended university on scholarships and have very solid ideas of what they want our of life and how to get it. It’s not bragging if it’s fact.
Back to the video when the “lovely” girl tells the interviewer that she doesn’t give a $*!* what her parents think . . . at least she is honest. Her honesty speaks volumes! We must turn the car around. This is the direction of our future. Many parents come to me as an educator and ask me what to do with their out-of-control 17 year old girl. I feel sad for them. It should have been done as she grew up in their home. I want so badly, too many times, to say that it’s too late. When I was in the Army, in leadership development school, a sergeant told me that you can always go in hard and lighten up, but you can NEVER go in easy and harden up. It will always fail. Parents are failing at an alarming rate. They want to buff out the scratches on a totaled car. I can’t imagine what would have awaited me at home, if I had been videoed on a beach doing what these kids were doing (I wouldn’t have been allowed to go anyway). Isn’t it strange though that I would have been ashamed to have shamed my family? The family structure has been dissolving for a long time, and it seems that the world is just now taking any kind of notice.
Train up a child in the way he should go; and even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22: 6