I’ve been searching for the words to express how I feel on the bike. Wait. Please don’t tune me out. This is not about the bike. It’s about an escape. I’ve explained in an earlier blog how I found cycling, but I did not have the words to say why. While reading an article in an e-magazine, I stumbled across this video:
Four years ago, my son packed up and left the house for college. A room in my house that was full of life, energy, and happiness was empty, reminding me every time I walked by it that he no longer lived there. I physically hurt and could not focus on much. I was in a half-empty nest stage. I told myself to be a man about it. I tried. I really did. People splashed me with comments about giving a child wings to fly and such, but my head swam every time I walked by his room. My wife would cry when she missed him, and I became very quiet in my thoughts.
It was during this time when I began to ride. Olympian and World Champion, Evelyn Stevens said it best, “There’s something about it that makes you feel very alive.” Whether I’m riding alone or with a group, my thoughts are with me. In a strange way, the surge of lactic acid in my legs and burning in my lungs battled the numbness. I enjoyed the suffering. I began to crave speed, to outrun everything that was bothering me. My thoughts travel as fast as I can pedal, but we still work things out.
I am so blessed. God provides an avenue of escape for all of us. We cannot allow darkness to overwhelm us. Now, my daughter is a senior and will be leaving in May. My wife and I will truly experience an empty nest. The road will be there, and it has been said that it is a good listener. But now, I am becoming more and more excited about a new chapter in my life with my soul mate . . . even though she says there is only enough room for one cyclist in our house. No matter what, we can continue our journey though life together.